One of the biggest challenges that many of my clients bring to their coaching sessions revolves around achieving life balance. This is not surprising when you consider that we live in a world where there is so much going on, so many choices to make, and a myriad of demands on our time. Given the fast-paced nature of the world in which we live, how exactly does one achieve the ever-coveted state of “balance”?
The critical first step is to define what life balance actually is. As much as the phrase is a popular one, most people aren’t able to clearly articulate its meaning. The reason for this is quite simple: balance looks different to each person. What looks like a balanced, manageable day for one person may look like complete chaos to another individual. So, it is essential that you get clear on what balance looks like for you. Ask yourself: what would be present in my life if things were more balanced? What would I be doing? How would I be feeling? Once you know the answers to these questions, then you’ve got a solid sense of what you’re aiming for. You’ve got a direction in which to head.
Which bring us to the second aspect of the definition. People often assume that “balance” is a state of being, a destination. The fact, however, is that it is not a destination but rather a direction. In every moment of every day you are presented with choices. The choices you make are either moving you in the direction of balance, or away from it. It behooves you to remember this because if you labour under the illusion that balance is a state of being then you can fail to recognize it when you actually have it. So, say it with me, and repeat it often: BALANCE IS A DIRECTION; IT’S NOT A DESTINATION.
The final piece of the definition is to remember that “balanced” does not equate to stress-free or perfect. Life, being what it is, will always have its ups and downs. When you are making choices that move you towards balance, however, the up-and-down moments don’t knock you off course; you simply move with them and take them in stride. Think about roller-coaster rides. There are some roller-coasters that send you to the place of complete nausea; you exit the ride and head for the nearest garbage can or washroom as quickly as possible. There are other roller-coasters, however, that leave you feeling absolutely exhilarated. There’s a thrill to the ride, even with its ups and downs. You know you can go back for more, and handle it just fine. In the same way, when your life choices are in line with what you want, and you’re moving towards balance more often than not, life’s ups and downs are just part of the journey.
Knowing how to define balance, recognizing what it actually means for you in your world is essential to being able to live a “balanced life”. Next time, we’ll explore what to do once you’re clear on what balance means for you. Until then, here’s an activity to do: create a collage that captures the essence of the life you’re creating. Make sure it speaks to who you are and how you want to be. Then post this visual reminder of your balanced life in a prominent place. Happy collaging! Here’s to getting clear on how you want your life to be.
Gail Barker is a certified professional life coach who specializes in supporting busy women who are ready to move from chaos to calm, from drudgery to delight in their lives. Her company, Stellar Coaching & Consulting (www.stellarcc.com) has been in operation since 2003. She is also coauthor of The Control Freak's Guide to Living Lightly: Manifesting a Life of Total Trust (www.controlfreakseries.com).
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