12 Secrets to Developing Self Esteem

Developing self esteem is a need that we all feel in varying degrees. Some people always seem to feel that they are on top of the world while others always feel kinda blue. How does one develop good self esteem?

1. The first thing you have to learn is that you should seek approval from within, not from other people. When you were a child, it was only natural that you seek the approval of your parents and other adults in your family. But now that you are an adult, you should learn to get approval from your own self.

2. To get approval from yourself, you first have to know what it is you need in life. This means knowing what you need yourself, not what other people say you need. You will find that there will always be many people who will want to dictate to you what you should go after in life. To be able to secure self-approval, you have to know what you want and go after it, so that when you succeed you will genuinely feel self-approval.

3. Do not blame yourself when things outside your control go awry. Honest self-approval comes when you acknowledge that there are some things that you just cannot determine.

4. On the other hand, do not underestimate your talents. A person with low self-esteem will feel that he cannot accomplish many things when in fact he is quite talented. If you have the right amount of self-esteem, you will definitely go far in life.

5. Do you think you have a more deep-seated problem contributing to your feelings of low self-esteem? Maybe you need a counselor or psychologist to help you through this. Some of us need a little support from other people to regain our sense of self-worth.

6. Find out who you really are. This means determining what you really stand for, and what your value system is (according to you, not according to what other people say you should believe in.) When you know who you really are, it will be harder for other people to bring you down.

7. Take responsibility for the choices you make in life. This is the way to real happiness. When you acknowledge that you are the one who creates your own future, you will be in a better position to reach for your life goals.

8. Write down the things that make you feel worried on a piece of paper. Then take another look at them. You will find that many of the things that worry you are really quite minor things in reality.

9. Learn to recognize that success often comes when you try to address your failures. Solutions crop up when you least expect it. So think of failure as an opportunity to try again with another solution until you get it right.

10. One big mistake many people make is to compete with other people. In life, you are not competing with other people; on the contrary, you are actually trying to beat your own record in whatever project you undertake. You are only as good as your last performance.

11. Be willing to take risks. People with low self esteem always seem to think that they will fail so they lose their nerve pursuing new endeavors. On the other hand, people with high self esteem prefer to be risk takers - and you know what? Most of the time, risk taking pays off for them. And when you succeed at being a risk taker, you help build your self esteem bit by bit.

12. Practice positive thinking. There are many historical figures who have proven that positive thinking is a great attitude to have to boost your self esteem. Success is based on positive thinking, followed by positive doing.

Developing self esteem is easier than you think. Hopefully, these steps will help you in your attempts at developing self esteem.

About the Author

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: conversation starters

3 Warning Signs That Procrastination Is Stealing Your Life Away

According to the dictionary, procrastination is defined as “to put off intentionally and habitually, or to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done.”

If we break that definition down, we see that there is personal and deliberate knowingness in our delaying the doing of something that should get done and that delaying can become a pattern, or habit, over time. For purposes of this forum, the “should” get done is presumed to be something you want, could, need or should get done, and is not the “should” of false obligation (as in, don’t should on yourself!).

In other words, we intentionally negate action on something we should get done that would ostensibly improve the quality of our lives in some way. When we are not enjoying an optimal quality of life, our life force energy is not being fed. Even more, when we internalize the delay as being a negative reflection of who we are, our life energy is literally being taken from us (or, more clearly, we are just giving it away indiscriminately!).

One key warning signal that procrastination is stealing your life force energy is that your “to do” list never gets done. There is a difference between healthy stress and something that is hanging over your head waiting for attention. It takes your mental energy to not look at it, and the thing itself will grow in proportion until it gets handled. It’s like never-ending homework. And avoidance strategies may include staying really busy, being in overwhelm, focusing on everybody else, creating drama and handling distractions vs. being productive – all of which are sabotage in the most insidious ways. (Insidious because they are disguised as being really productive, or kind, or engaged with lots of activities – they are socially acceptable but not truly productive for you.)

Another warning signal that indicates procrastination is stealing your energy is that the sense that you canot get ahead. Procrastination keeps you stuck in the past by keeping the “it” you are delaying front and foremost in your mind as something that you should get done. After all, who would you be if you were moving forward easily and measurably instead of living from your past?

The most damaging warning signal is when your self-esteem drops as a result of not handling “it”. There is a sense that you never measure up because you are not handling “it”. There are a number of reasons why you might not be handling “it” that are completely unrelated to your self-esteem, but your self-esteem doesn’t know that. All your inner being knows is that you are not getting it done and, if your programming runs like most people’s, it must be because you are not good enough somehow to get it done.

When procrastination is a big enough factor in your life to be robbing you of your quality of life, it is time to do something – NOW.

Lynn Scheurell Lynn Scheurell facilitates positive transformation for her clients using both intuitive and linear thinking. Her company, Creative Catalyst, is a leader in initiating dramatic change for independent professionals and decision-makers. Download your own free report right now to learn Your 6 Power Points for Personal Success – and How What You Don’t Know Can Cost You Years of Hard Work! http://www.mycreativecatalyst.com/.